Top Five Movie Werewolves

In honour of Martin “Wolfie” Adam‘s victory in the darts tonight, I’ve decided to dig out my old list of favourite werewolves. Yes, I know, it’s a tenuous link but hey, I’m in that kind of mood.

As a slight disclaimer, these critters have been chosen for the werewolves themselves, not the quality of the motion picture they appear in.

5. The Curse of the Werewolf
“He fought the hideous curse of his evil birth, but his ravished victims were proof that the cravings of his beast-blood demanded he kill… Kill… KILL.”

It was a toss up between this chap, the original Wolf-Man, the Werewolf of London or old Paul Naschy but Ollie Reeds wolf wins out in the man-with-fur-glued-to-his-face variety. Wonderfully iconic if from a slightly boring film. Hammer should have done another wolf flick to get it right.

4. The Wolf-Man, Van Helsing
“Adventure Lives Forever.”

Is it heresy to admit to liking this movie? Yes, it has flaws so big you could race a horse-drawn carriage through, but it’s fun, turn-your-brain-off-at-the-door hokum . And the CGI wolf-man is a huge, lolloping hunk of silver fur. I’d rather face Lon Chaney Jr’s fuzzy-faced freak than this beast any day. The transformation scenes show some glimpses of intriguing innovation too. The poor cursed fellow rips his skin off to reveal the beast underneath only to claw off the fur when he returns to his human form.  Ouch. And to think I moan when I have a papercut…

3. Dog Soldiers
“Six soldiers. Full Moon. No Chance.”

OK, I’ve just championed a CGI creation, but there is something about a man in a wolf-suit, isn’t there. What a gruesome bunch. Granted they’re better when they’re lolloping about in the highland shadows so you don’t see much detail, but which movie monster isn’t…

2. Underworld
“This fall, when the battle begins, which side would you choose?”

Another film that I’m not sure if you’re supposed to like (personally I’m rather fond of it) but fantastic shapeshifters none-the-less, especially as they’re another case of a great man-in-a-suit-monster (with a little bit of CGI here or there to help out). And werewolves that can scamper across walls and ceilings? Pant-wettingly scary that if you ask me…

1. American Werewolf in London
“Beward the Moon.”

Obviously this bad-boy has to be on the list and where else can it be other than number one. Has a transformation ever looked more painful? Rick Barker certainly deserved the first ever Oscar for Best Make-up. To think the design of the monster itself was based on Baker’s dog, Bosko. Of course, ignoring the wolf for a minute, there’s that scene in the shower. If you squint and use your imagination…

So there you are, wolf-pickers – my top five cinematic werewolves. Of course, I’ve kept this to big-screen lycans, which meant that Being Human‘s George hasn’t made the list. Should I have let him in? What about last year’s incarnation of the Wolfman? Or Teen Wolf for that matter. Do you agree with my top five or do you think I’m talking a load of Loup-Garoux poop. Let me know.

Hino Horrors: The Red Snake

Hino Horrors 1

After being impressed with The Gallery of Horrors I snapped up the first Hino Horror from Amazon.

And there was me thinking Gallery was weird. To say The Red Snake is disturbing would be like saying Everest is slightly tall. This little graphic novel, again with a similar cartoon-like style, is one of the twisted things I’ve read in a long time.

It centres around a cute, but terrified, boy who lives with his freak-show of a family is a house that’s so sprawling that he’s never been able to walk all the way around it. How on earth the little lad managed to be in the slightest way normal living with this family is a question that is never answered. His Gran thinks she’s a chicken and tries to lay eggs all day in her home-made nest while her retarded son happily butchers the real chickens that he breeds to feed her delusion. Meanwhile the boy’s beautiful mother lives to massage the grapefruit size growth on the side of Grandfather’s face with her feet. If that wasn’t odd enough our unnamed hero also has a sister who loves nothing better than grabbing a bunch of creepy-crawlies so they can crawl all over her body as she moans in pleasure.

Messed up yet? Well don’t worry – it’s only just starting.

At the middle of the house sits a mirror, which according to Grandfather holds back the forces of hell. Bet they didn’t get that in IKEA. Before you know it, of course, the mirror is cracked and an infernal snake crawls through bringing death, destruction and dismemberment to the household. If you thought the family was slightly on the strange side before you ain’t seen nothing yet.

This atmospheric and downright disturbing tale forces you to keep turning the pages just so you can scream ‘what the hell,’ at every bizarre, and increasingly gory, turn. It’s all a bit sick really but what do you expect from Japanese horror.

And yes, reading it before going to sleep actually did give me nightmares.

If the rest of the series is as extreme and off-the-wall as this I know I’m going to love it.